Opinions & Editorials
Guest Commentary: An Open Letter To Mazda - I Want A Miata Coupe!
By By: tripleZoom Reader JrodVW
Feb 21, 2005, 12:00

Dear Mazda,

Of all the world’s coveted cars, I think we can agree that the classic two-door, fastback, 2-seater is among the most romanticized. From Playboys in their Stingray Corvettes to Gentlemen racers in their exquisite Ferraris to the new wave of affordable, reliable sports cars that came in the 70s from Datsun and Mazda, the 240Z and RX-7, coupes have always suggested an owner at least a small step ahead of the rest of the sedan-driving populace.

I first fell blindly in love with the MGB/GT as a child after seeing a neighbor’s under a ratty tarp. Sadly, the tarp was in better shape than the GT, and even when new these cars were, well, let’s just say “quirky”. And by quirky I mean “I want to hit it with a baseball bat…before it starts rusting away” quirky. Whatever vestigial backseat existed was merely your own portable parts counter.

The next coupe that rubbed me in all the right places was the BMW Z3 Coupe. So ugly only a mother could love it, not particularly advanced as BMWs go, and it was just a mad, mad, mad automobile. I loved it to bits when I saw the first spy shots of one nearly a decade ago. And I still love it now. But the cost of getting into a used BMW and its associated maintenance is a bit scary for me.

But I’ve always very much wanted a company to create a back-to-basics 2-seater fastback coupe. I don’t need 200-hp to go fast. Anyone can mash a loud pedal and be gone. I don’t need a backseat or a usable trunk. In fact, I don’t want it. The 350Z and Corvette are too pricey, too fast, and just too much of everything. I’ll be fresh out of talent at the same point that either of those cars runs out of grip.

I’m a 23 year-old male. I’m single. I own my home. I have a decent job at the bottom of the corporate ladder. Muscle cars don’t do it for me - they’re the equivalent of Bud-swilling good ol’ boys. Hyper-manic boy racers don’t do it for me, either - they’re the equivalent to the Colombian Marching Powder users of Autodom. Still, I’ve got to have an enjoyable vehicle in my stable.



For years I’ve hunted down first-generation Miatas, never quite able to pull the trigger. I’ve got every article ever published, photos, posters, Excel spreadsheets, rat traps left where they lie, refunded deposits, and a trail of tears over the ones that got away. I’ve driven hours to go see a car only to have it invade my dreams, and I’ve lost eBay auctions by so little the amount didn’t even cover the gin and tonics I’d drink to forget the whole fiasco.

But this, this Miata Coupe - this car I’ve seen as a fantasy in first generation prototypes has become a reality in the past few years on the wonderful second generation car… but alas, not in my home market. A car so right, so perfect, so sexy you can’t remember what your girlfriend looks like after a trip to Victorias Secret. A car you could slap a Porsche badge on it, charge $5000 for a sport package, $3000 for leather, and $1500 for a decent radio and people would be fighting in the streets to leave deposits without a second thought.

So naturally, as a member of the FLA (Fat Lazy Ahmuricans) I’ll let someone else whine about the cupholder size in the 6 Sedan or the impact harshness in the 3 Sedan. But this coupe, I need it. I need it to continue living a life where the pursuit of happiness and looking out for #1 is all that matters. And who is number one? This guy… right here… with the checkbook… and title to his Jetta in hand. I will be depositor number one should this car become available. I’ll sell my car. Hell, I can live in a Miata coupe - I can’t very well drive my house! It’s sluggish on acceleration and crosswinds are hell on it. Don’t need it. A fleet of Miatas would be a much wiser choice.

Oh, I know the standard corporate response; The Coupe is not destined for our shores, never designed for it. That’s a pretty lame copout if you ask me. Make it happen. Volkswagen, amongst their recent well-published problems, managed to sneak in 5000 R32s with a minimum of advertising and did quite well with them. There’s no reason for a car company to demonstrate true product passion if the numbers don’t work out on paper. Someones gotta get rich off this or it won’t happen, I know, but this isn’t a midsize sedan, or insanely powered RX-8 - this is a car you’re already producing. Slip the night guard a tranquilizer and tell the ship’s captain to head for California. The weather there is beautiful this time of year.

Charlie Brown never received as much grief as thoughts of this car are causing me. I’ll take anything involving it - a big shiny poster, a crumpled fender, a brochure, a line drawing. I’ll also accept an invitation with airfare and hotel stay to come out to Mazda Raceway and hammer one around the track for a day or two. This is not a joke - I’m quite serious. Hell, just loan me a car for a month to get my final assessment. But you had better put a tracking device on it because you’ll have a hard time prying me out of it.

While you’re at it, please keep it simple and under $25,000. Call it the Ninja Fighter Nighttime Happy Fun Zoom-Zoom edition and I’d STILL buy it. Paint it retirement gold, and I’d buy it. Paint it Merlot Mica with Tan Leather and I’ll camp out at the port until it arrives and drive it cross country. No turbos, no power seats, no Bose audio, no dual climate control, and no 17” wheels - just add lightness and make me a happy camper. What a fitting way to finish out the second-generation model run in North America, with the sportiest, truest Miata you can crank out.

No one understands the importance of self-amusement as much as I do, so to the first person in power at Mazda North American operations who can make this dream come true, let me know what I have to do. If you just need a laugh, you got it buddy. No one needs to know. Your bosses will never find out. And a Road & Track Salon article will surely vindicate you in your twilight years. Pinky swear.

If any of the above is unfeasible, please inform me if I can import this car to Amsterdam where I will move to and reside for the next 40 years or so. Now that’s a pipe dream situation.

I eagerly await your response, and please, no form letters.

Your humble servant,

Jared Kamen

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